Wendy Corduroy: Warrior Cashier
by CodyLabs
Summary: Most days, Wendy's job sucks because it's so profoundly boring. But there are some days when it sucks slightly less, and for an entirely different reason. This is one of those days.


Okay, so I know I said I wouldn't do fanfiction anymore, but I gotta say that these characters are still super precious to me (especially Wendy for some reason), so here's a quick little short story that popped into my head the other day I and I just HAD to write down. I hope it can put a smile on your face.

As Grunkle Stan once said: "That story was great! I even put in a talking robot for the kids!"

* * *

Wendy's eyes slowly drooped shut. The buttons on the cash register blurred together and darkened for the fifth time in as many minutes. Very soon now, she knew that the monotony and the silence of the warm, empty gift shop would win out, and she'd fall asleep… And then Stan would come in and berate her for napping on the clock, for wasting his good money, and he'd threaten to fire her or cut her pay… Or something… It definitely wouldn't be good to fall asleep right now.

But she was too tired to care. She hated her job too much to care. She'd lost the will to care long ago.

Her eyes drifted shut one more time, and this time she thought she would really fall asleep.

But then she heard a knocking.

Thinking it might be Stan, or Stan 2, or the twins, or somebody else who might disapprove of her slacking off, she sat back upright in the chair and shook her head to drive away the mental fog. Her eyes followed the sound across the room to the screen door, where the knocking had come from.

Whoever it was knocked again.

"Uh… Yo, door's unlocked!" She called. "You can just come in or whatever."

The door opened at her invitation, and an enormous robot stepped inside.

Its entire body was covered in dirt, moss, and the rusty hints of years of decay. One of its arms was missing, and the rest of it was pockmarked with dents, scrapes, slash marks and who knows what else. But despite the considerable damage, the thing still had a determined and stoic energy to its presence, as if it were somehow very much alive. Its single narrow eye panned over the inside of the building, taking stock of everything inside, and from within its massive torso came the creaking of gears and pistons. The floorboards creaked beneath the weight of its feet.

"Uhhhh…" Wendy and the machine stared at each other for a few seconds. "Sup." She said.

-Hello young one.- It had no mouth, so the deep, slow sound of its voice seemed to sigh out directly from the center of its body. -Tell me… Have you seen the Great Hakrom Empire?-

"Uhhhh…" Wendy considered the name for a moment, then shrugged. "Nah… Never heard of it. Sorry."

-Ah.- The machine turned in a slow, searching circle. -Pity… It was right here. I was… Sure of it.-

"Yeah, uh… Don't think so…?" Wendy shrugged. "You… Umm… What do you mean it's 'right here'?"

-Latitude 45.430 Longitude -122.374- The machine recited. -Is that here?-

"Uh… Lemme check." Wendy fished her phone out of her pocket and did a quick internet search for coordinates. When she entered the numbers the robot had just recited, it pointed directly to outskirts of Gravity Falls. To the general vicinity of the Mystery Shack, actually. "Yeah, I think you're in the right place, but uh…" She shrugged. "Look, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but, legit, are you sure you're on the right… Continent? …Planet? I mean, there's a lot of planets around here, you co-"

-This is the world.- The machine sighed. -This is the land. This is the place of the Great Hakrom Empire…-

"Huh. Well." Wendy glanced out the window at the quiet town and the sleepy summer day. "…Why exactly are you looking for the empire? You, uhhhhh… Got friends or family or… Something?"

-My outpost was destroyed…- The machine explained. -All the prisoners escaped. Communications were severed. Many brave warriors were destroyed, others lost, others shall never rise again. Many laid down their lives to keep the peace and failed… I was the last to stand.-

"Oh."

-I was told to bring news of the tragedy to the empire… And so I began walking. I walked through valleys and hills, through mountains and deserts, and across the canyons and the dark mud of the ocean floor… I have walked for very long to come here.-

"Wow, uh…" Wendy put her phone away and scratched her head. "Wow. That's… That sucks man. I'm real sorry."

-You are not to blame…- The machine told her. -We are to blame. We were the warriors. We were the great ones. We were the brave and the few. We were constructed as the deadliest and sturdiest in all the lands, and it was our duty, it was our _purpose_ , to keep the blessed peace… Little one, we were meant to be the heroes… We were meant to protect you… We are to blame. We are the only ones to blame.-

"Well… Then it's okay." Wendy told it. "Don't worry about it."

-Hmm.- The robot stood before her, staring off into the distance.

"Uh…" Wendy scratched her head. "So… When did all this happen?" She asked. "When did the, uh… 'prisoners escape' or whatever? When did you start walking?"

-I have walked for one thousand and four years.- It said.

"Oh." Wendy bit her lip. "Well… Hate to break it to you, dude… But the Great Hakrom Empire is probably dead and gone."

Its eye spun and fixed on her. -You do not know it's dead.-

"Yeah, well, a thousand years is, like… A long time. And nobody around here has heard of the Hakrom empire, soooooooo… Y'know. Sorry dude, but I think you're… Late."

The robot stood looking at her. Then it looked right. It looked left. It looked down. Then it looked back up with an air of conviction. -You do not know it's dead.- It repeated. -But it must be here, and I must find it. So I shall wait for it.-

And it sat down in the middle of the gift shop floor.

Wendy stared at it.

It stared at the wall.

"Right here? Really?"

It didn't respond to that. Wendy pondered these matters for a few moments, then shrugged, picked up a magazine, and leaned back in her chair. _This is Stan's problem now._ She reasoned. _I sure as heck can't move this thing, it's probably like a thousand pounds._

So she just read the magazine.

But as the seconds turned into minutes, something in her conscience began to weigh. So finally she set it down and turned back to the robot. "Okay, but seriously?" She spouted. "Right in the middle of the floor?"

-These are the coordinates.- It told her. -I shall wait.-

"Well, Yeah." She shrugged. "But… Could you maybe wait someplace ELSE? Like outside? Or in the trees or something? Please? Like, this is the gift shop, and… Like… We use this space. People come in and out of that door all the time. You're right in the way."

It looked down at itself, then looked back up. -I shall wait.-

"But why? I mean… The Hakrom Empire is _gone_ , man… It's never gonna find you, you're never gonna find it, no matter how long you wait, no matter where you wait! It's hopeless… Don't you understand that?"

-…I have my duty.- It told her.

"Well then your duty is dumb!" She threw her hands in the air. "Go take a break! Have some fun! See a movie! You wanna see a movie? I mean… There's a theater in town. I think Avengers is playing or something."

-I shall WAIT!- It insisted.

"Geeez…!" Wendy threw her arms in the air and sat back with a long, drawn-out sigh.

There was silence for a moment longer.

-I have my duty.- The machine repeated, quietly, as if to itself. -I was given my duty long ago… Good men gave me my duty. Good men entrusted me to perform my duty… And perhaps there are good men who still wait for me to complete my duty. Perhaps the Hakrom Empire still exists… Somewhere… Perhaps my duty is not hopeless… Perhaps there is some hope. Perhaps. Just perhaps.-

Wendy shrugged.

-What is your name, young one?-

"Wendy Corduroy."

-Wendy of the Clan Corduroy…- It addressed her. -Do you have a duty?-

"Umm…" She considered that. "Yeah. Guess I do. I sit here and I sell junk for minimum wage… Sometimes I organize the shelves or sweep the floor when they ask. I get free snacks, too, but that's our little secret, right? Heh."

-Hmm.- It seemed to nod in appreciation. -If you have a duty, then surely you know the weight of it. You must know how much it means to be given a task and expected to perform. You must know that a duty is sacred, and that it cannot be abandoned or subverted or put off… Even after a dozen lifetimes of failure… Even after the end of hope… Even when no one else remains…-

"Heh." She shrugged. "Well. Y'know, I almost wish, I guess. Wish I had a duty like that. Wish I had… I dunno, something to fight? A goal? I mean, I'm pretty good with an axe, and I can run and hold my breath for a long time, so I think I could've been a pretty great 'warrior' or something… But instead I'm the _cashier_. You know what that means?"

-Does it mean prisoner? Are you enslaved here? I can free you. I am very strong.-

"No, it means my duty doesn't _matter_!" She told it. "It means _anybody_ could do my job, and that nobody even _really_ cares if the job _gets_ done! …It's just a JOB, not a duty. I DON'T have a duty, I never HAD a duty." She shook her head. "Nobody's EVER depended on me to do ANYTHING that matters, and I don't think I've ever done a SINGLE worthwhile thing in my entire LIFE… It's just day after stupid day of sitting on my stupid butt dealing with big fat morons who wanna buy stupid stuff, pay their stupid money, or even just sit right smack-dab in the middle of the STUPID rug." She shook her head. "My duty is crap."

It considered this all for a good long moment. -You do not need to be a warrior to have duty. Often your duty is merely to continue as you are. For many years my duty was merely to continue walking. To walk to the Hakrom Empire, and tell them that we lost, and that we require reinforcements… I am glad I do not care if my duty is glamorous, for in that case I would be very sad, I think.-

"But… But that means you know it's hopeless then? Right?" She clarified. "You know that everything you're doing is in vain? You know that there is no Hakrom Empire. It's gone, and you'll never find it. All your walking was pointless, and you'll never get your reinforcements… Heck, all the 'prisoners' you were supposed to guard are probably dead by now too… You failed… You know that, right?"

-Yes.-

"Does _that_ make you sad?"

-…Yes.-

"So _why_ even keep at it? Why not just stop caring? Don't you _ever_ want to give up?"

-…Yes.-

"…But you're never gonna, huh?"

-No.-

"Hmm."

-I think, Wendy of the Clan Corduroy, that you care too much that your duty is not the one you want, and too little that your duty is your duty.-

"Huh… Y'know, I guess I do."

-Hmm.-

"Guess I keep forgetting that I wanna be somebody someday. Wanna do something better than this. Wanna do good on this, so that when I move on to something better, I can do good on that too."

-Yes.-

"Guess I should probably take being a cashier more seriously, huh."

-Yes.-

"Guess I'm the cashier then. Guess this is my gift shop, and my register, and my floor, and its my duty to keep this space running smoothly, huh?"

-Yes.-

"Alright, well then…" Wendy turned back to the robot. "YOU. Get. Your. Fat. Metal. Butt. Off my floor."

-I must wait.- It refused.

"You move your can, or WE will move you. Don't make me come over there."

-You will not be able to move me.-

"Yeah? Bro, do you even know where you _are_? This is the _Mystery Shack_. Literally everyone in this building is an absolute badass. We've got a spunky old-timey bruiser, and a sugar-injected ball of madness, and two super-geniuses with extensive knowledge of the paranormal and powerful. The only non-badass is the janitor, and he's got a truck. And then there's ME. And I'm the toughest, grittiest, axe-weildingest warrior-cashier you've ever met, so I'm thinking you probably want to move before I do something crazy."

-It took one hundred armed men and the strength of a great beast to do this.- The robot gestured to its severed arm. -And they died in their attempt. I fear nothing.-

"Yeah, well, that doesn't make the easy way any less easy." Wendy told him. "It just means that the hard way will be a little bit harder for both of us."

-Our duties are in disagreement.-

"Seems it." She nodded. "Could turn into an immovable-object-unstoppable-force type of situation, huh."

-Yes.-

"I'm not even joking, I'll have Soos bring the truck around. We'll tow you out that door with chains."

-What an inconvenience.-

"Yep."

-You should probably get on that.-

"I probably should." Wendy stood up, and they stared each other down for a few seconds, her eyes locked with the robot's little glowing light. And then suddenly, as she regarded him, she realized what was happening. "Oh…" Her eyes got wide. "…You _want_ a fight."

It didn't respond.

"You want to go out in a blaze of glory, you want to go down swinging… You kinda even want to be _destroyed_ … Huh."

It hesitated for several seconds. -Yes.-

"You want your duty to end, no matter what it takes. You want to be free."

-…Yes.-

"You're that tired…"

-I am that tired.-

Wendy stared at him for a moment longer. "I'll take your duty." She said.

-You what?-

"I'll do it." She said. "I'll wait for the thing. I'll search for them. I'll do it."

-What?-

"Yeah man, okay, here's how it's gonna work: you help me 'fulfill my duty' as cashier, by getting up and leaving the building… And in return, I'll do yours. I'll searching for the Hakrom Empire. I'll go to the library, I'll ask the gnomes and stuff around the forest, I'll search. And one day I'll find it. You come back here every month, and every time you do, I'll tell you what I've found."

-…You would do such a thing for me?-

"I would. You're free."

The machine's gears ground as it stood back to its feet and turned to face her directly. -Do you give your word?-

She crossed her heart. "I, Wendy of the Clan Corduroy, swear by my honor as a warrior cashier that I will find the Hakrom Empire, and fulfill your duty."

It held her gaze for a long moment more. And when it spoke, its voice was very, very quiet. -Thank you.-

And then, with a hesitant step, it walked out the door.

* * *

"Hey Wendy, you'll never guess wh- Wendy?" Dipper came walking through the gift shop later to find everything in order; the floor had been swept, and the shelves had been organized. But his friend was gone, and so was the rug. Dipper found these last two omissions unusual, and spent a moment searching for them.

He found them just outside the door; Wendy had the carpet up on a railing, and was trying to scrub out a big stain of rust and mud right in the center. "Oh hey Wendy, wassup!"

"Hey dude." She smiled, and shrugged. "Just cleaning."

"Okay… Need some help?"

"Sure. Thanks."

He grabbed another sponge, and started in beside her.

"Say dude, you know a lot about history and weird science stuff, right?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Tell me… Have you ever heard of the Great Hakrom Empire?"


End file.
